A Song For All of Those Who Shot and Missed
by ursweetheartless
Summary: Alphonse decides his brother needs a little bit of help admiting his feelings for the Colonel, so he hatches a devious plan to get the together, and in the process he discovers something about himself. Two Shot .


A Song for all of Those who Shot and Missed

Edward shifted uneasily in his seat trying to focus on the mission report he was supposed to be writing as hard as he could, even though he'd pretty much come to terms with the fact that his efforts were in vain. He couldn't possibly focus on the report when there was a giggly, simpering, blonde _whore_ practically hanging off of Mustang's arm. They'd closed the door to the man's office, but he could still hear the obnoxious noises she'd made echoing around in his brain. He'd come back from lunch early, to try to get this done so that he could go work on a theory on biological alchemy he'd been thinking about lately in the labs, and he'd been fine until that _bastard_ had come in with that irritating girl on his arm, bastard chest all puffed out and that stupid fucking smirk plastered on his face.

The two of them had made quite the production of waltzing in before anyone else was supposed to be back, the girl cooing about what a wonderful time she'd had at lunch, and practically begging the man to show her what he did here. Edward had snorted at that, thinking there really wasn't anything glamorous or exciting about the slacking the man did in the office, and how he hoped that bimbo was bored to tears by it. _That_ would teach her to come around hanging on Mustang like that.

X

Mustang smirked at the blond flopped languidly across the couch in his office, watching as high heeled shoes were kicked off and grey eyes slid shut with a sigh. It was all he could do not to chuckle, knowing that if he did he would be on the receiving end of one of the three most dangerous glares in Central City, the first being Hawkeye, mostly because it was usually followed quite closely by a firearm pointed at your head, and the second being the blond boy seated in the office outside. Mustang had heard the boy mumbling when he'd come back from lunch, and he'd caught the furtive glares out of the corner of his eye. He looked over at the blond on the couch.

"You think it worked?" Grey eyes slid back open and boy smiled.

"Like a charm, general. I bet brother's out there seething and worrying himself, though it _will_ be a little tougher to get him to admit why..." The blond boy giggled from the couch. This whole thing had been Al's idea really, because now that he was bak in the flesh Edward didn't really have an overarching goal in life, and he'd been doing a lot of moping around. It wasn't really a secret that the boy felt _something_ for his commanding officer, and now that he had restored his brother Edward had no real excuse not to follow through on it.

Al knew that, and that was why he had casually approached the general for his help. Al had seen the way the man had acted when Ed was gone, and the shift when he returned, and he had hypothesized that he might just return those feelings. He had been correct, as always.

It had taken him a little while to come up with a suitably devious plan, one that would get Edward to face his own "feelings," and he had to admit, this was a good plan. He'd always been a little bit more slight that his brother, and with his body spending so long in the gate it just got more willowy and thin, even with a couple months of Winry's cooking as she tried to fatten him up. Slap some heels and a sun dress on him and he looked positively feminine.

Havoc had dug a wonder bra out of his closet and sacrificed it for the cause, blushing and mumbling something about a crazy ex-girlfriend at Alphonse's delicately arched eye brow. Furey had met them at the Colonel's this morning and had applied his makeup, sparingly in light pinks and purples, matching the dress perfectly. He'd just smiled when no body was really surprised at his skill. Thats what growing up in a house full of sisters could do to you though.

Alphonse had to admit that he had looked positively cute when they had left the Colonel's apartment this morning, and it felt oddly satisfying. He'd almost skipped to headquarters, teetering around in those heels, the hem of the dress fluttering around his knees, his hair loose and flowing, gently curled when it was still damp. He couldn't help but smile. Girls definitely got the better deal with clothing and accessories. It was almost enough to make him pout because he knew he'd have to give everything back at the end of the day.

X

Edward was staring at the typewriter in front of him, trying to figure out what he had been writing before those two idiots came through, but all he was coming up with was _Bastard Colonel_ and _Stupid Slut_ and he knew it really shouldn't bother him quite that much but there was a tingly feeling squirming around in his gut that told him he did care. He wanted them gone, or at least he wanted _her_ gone, because then things could get back to normal and Roy could be a condescending ass and Ed could yell about it and they could both get back to doing their actual work.

Needless to say, when that door opened and the pair stepped out Edward was more than a bit annoyed. He was trying his hardest to keep his breathing level and steady, staring holes in the keys in front of him when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped in surprise and nearly knocked his chair over in his rush to glare the hell out of whoever had snuck on him. He froze though when his eyes met oddly familiar stone grey. He couldn't quite place it. He scowled.

"What do you want? Unlike Colonel Bastard over there I have some actual work I want to get done so I can get back to more important things..." It was snappy and mean and he knew it, but he didn't really care right now. He didn't want one of the Colonel's whores touching him. She only smiled and he was struggling to keep hating her then.

"I just wanted to meet the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, and see what you were doing that could possibly be worth the death glare you were giving that paper." Her smile was clear and simple, the corners of her eyes crinkling as they closed briefly. He understood on some abstract level that she was attractive, all the women the Colonel dated were after all, but she was like an art piece he didn't quite udnerstand, an art piece that was currently prancing around the office with _his_ commanding officer being obnoxious.

"It's all this distraction, _miss_. I have to get this report done so I can get back to my real work." His reply was curt, meant to brush her off, but she only smiled.

"You're writing a report here? What about? Is it one of your adventures? I'm sure it _fascinating_. Don't work too hard though, you look like you're awfully absorbed in what you're doing." The Colonel smirked behind her and Ed fixed him with a death glare. Then the man winked at him and Edward couldn't help but flush red. The girl just giggled, then her face lit up, and she turned back to the man behind her with a squeal that hurt his spine.

"I KNOW, Colonel, have you invited the boy to your little party? I'm sure he could use the time to unwind a little." She turned to smile at Ed. "How about that, cutie? Wanna come to the Valentine's party?" Ed blushed again, though this time not as deeply, but managed to keep his voice level and cold when he spoke, forcing his eyes back down to the report.

"Miss, isn't it a little impolite to invite someone to a party that isn't yours? I'm sure the Colonel has no real desire to have me at his Valentine's party, and I must say I'm a little too busy to go anyways." He heard the rumbling of laughter behind him, the Colonel's laughter, and he flinched slightly.

"Nonsense Fullmetal, of course I want you at my party, a little blond cutie like you and the ladies will flock there," he mused with a smile. "In fact, I'll make it an order, you have been working quite hard lately and none of this is due for at least a week, so you've got the time." He smirked as he laid one hand over the shoulders fo the girl at his side.

Edward opened his mouth to yell but the Colonel smirked at him again and winked. He blushed crimson again, and he felt the colonel poke him in the forehead gently. He scowled.

"See you there Edward!"

The blond only growled sharply in response.

**TBC** . 


End file.
